go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize