I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How's work?
Spinning.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
