Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
