haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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