so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
