I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize