I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
