i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
