just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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