omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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