I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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