goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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