I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
