Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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