I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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