this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
