Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
