Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
