So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
