He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As shirtless as possible
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize