I'm so fucking centered right now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
