i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
