nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
