It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You dont lie about slip and slides
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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