NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
