You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
