I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
