OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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