I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
