Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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