So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
