i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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