in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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