love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
