Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize