At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
