Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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