You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
