I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize