you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
do herpes really smell.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
