Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
