the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I did not marry a roomba.
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