my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
