yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
