I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
