is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i will never coherently bang her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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