If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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