Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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