her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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