You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
