you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
