ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
