Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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