Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
