Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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