also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
