$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
