Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
