It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
