put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize