I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize