hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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