I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
