i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I want her autograph on my taint
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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