I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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