but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
