I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
