some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
