I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize